Ben's Stories

2011-06-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

im feeling particularly down today, with the reasons which even me myself cant identify. what is wrong with me? shall i listen to some happy songs to cheer me up? surprisingly im not actually seeking for any persons to be by my side and to make me smile. i would rather be left alone here, strictly on myself. and to have some me-time.

the result for my professional ethics exam will be out tomorrow. to be honest im getting more and more nervous bout it. i just need a pass after all. after everything ive been through so far, i really wish that my pupillage to come to an end, soonest possible. by then i ll be called to the malaysian bar as a qualified advocate and solicitor of the state of malaya, sabah and sarawak. in fact im already a barrister-at-law of england lol. well at least being a qualified lawyer i could earn a little bit more money compared to what im making at the moment.

honestly i really dont know if im doing the thing which i would wanna do for the rest of my life. i keep asking myself repeatedly, whether is this what i really want, or is this what i will have to do for living? dont ask, cause i really dont have a clue at all. i dont know what im actually looking for in life. keep working in order to feed myself? or to? ermmm im seriously clueless.

maybe i just need to speak to a wise person in order to bring myself back on track. can anybody tells me what should i do?

sigh how emo i am tonight.

ben x

2011-06-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

there's something which has actually been bothering me quite a bit lately. honestly im not really sure if im doing the right thing right here right now. as my pupillage is coming to an end in less than 2 months time, and most of my workmates have already started to ask if i will be staying in the firm or leaving. of course it is entirely depend on my boss, either to want me, or not. simple as that lol. so just be patient people and im sure you all will know the answer, very soon.

i have had a good time at work indeed, well sometimes i do have. hah! i did learn a lot from there as the lawyers around me have taught me from point zero to who i am now. at least ive learnt how to draft an agreement, when to file the forms and what documents will be needed etc. trust me, its gonna be a totally different thing when it comes to work, compare to what we have actually learnt in the uni. but well, i do feel grateful to have them at work, the all of them.

to be honest, im not too worry of whether to stay or not. of course it will be great if i will be able to stay and work along with my friends n colleagues, plus i dont have to adapt myself to another new environment. but conversely, its not a big matter at all even if i was found to be not so suitable for the current job. i will still be thankful to those who have been there for me during my hard time at work. or maybe its the best opportunity for me to take a longer break from work and from everything, and i deserve a long long rest =P

no point of being miserable or to worry too much whether or not i would get the job isnt it. and i dont find it difficult to get along with some other people and to adapt to another new environment so why worry. but i do worry about the salary which i ll be offered with though hehe. well i admit that im not an outstanding solicitor or barrister, but at least i could still do my job which ive been given with. i know what i am and how much i worth for. everyone knows that benjamin tan is easy to get along with, friendly, sweet, lovely etc etc. haha. enough for being such a thick face, but im indeed a sweet person lol.

so no matter where i am in the near future, i would still cherish for what im having now. but i definitely duwanna live my life in misery by doing things that i dont really like doing. as i always believe, career is meant for life, so better think twice and think properly about it before we start pursuing it. somehow, i believe that everyone will eventually find one, and its just the matter of time. so fingers crossed!

love,

ben x

p/s i guess im missing someone tonight, someone far away x

2011-06-01T07:06:00.001-07:00

im just bored tonight. lying on the bed and filling my head with what have happened today.

ow yeh, after all the tiring days at work, we have decided to pamper ourselves with the E & O dinner buffet tomoz. woohoo. cant wait till i could have all the bbq lobster, peking roast duck, sahsimi, oyster omg and loadsa food, oh and the desserts. its fat i know! but nah, im not gonna bother for this one day, will probably just delay my diet plan until next week. *which will never success lol

i met someone special for lunch today, lets name this particular person as DR for easy reference. erm *counting my fingers* its been like more than 12 years since i got to know DR and you will never believe that ive actually got a crush on DR since then. so many little silly thing ive done and DR had never really realised of any until i told him all the stories. there was once about 8 years ago used to adore DR so much, and the same old shits again, many tears has been shed, dramas and all sort of heart broken memories, but of course, there was some sweet memories we had had together. it still feels sour inside though when i think about it. somehow im glad that we are still very good friends today. at least we could still hang out once in a blue moon, have a laugh and talk, and bitch about our old friends. good time indeed.

so when people says that time will heal everything, yea and i agree with them. time does heal the old wound which has been staying inside for years. sometimes we might just need a little bit more of time to get through it. as i always say, stay strong and look forward, it will help. well there's no harm trying our best isnt it. give ourselves a little more time to wash away all the pain from yesterday. when i look into DR's eyes today, i realise that the past feeling has actually evolved into a more-like strange feeling. deep huh? i know lol. or maybe i have already moved on after so many years. still, we both know we care about each other, a lot. and i do cherish it DR, a big hugs for you.

dont get me wrong people, im absolutely not in an emo mode tonight, but rather i feel more relief for not expecting anything, not anymore. i guess i will stick to my actual plan, which is to stay single but not available. well its good for being single, at least im allowed to do whatsoever i like without the need to report to someone, totally cant be bothered. Bravooo, Benjamin Tan is single, and will always be, at least by now =P

anyway, lets have our fingers crossed and to pray for a better day, yea tomorrow will be a better day! Muacks. Ben x

2011-05-31T05:19:00.001-07:00

its been quite sometimes since the last time i posted something here. omg time flies without i even notice about it. its been 7 months that i have my butt sitting in the office from 845am to 545pm, doing what im supposed to do, and what a lawyer should do, or shall i say trainee associate instead of lawyer? yea im actually a trainee associate at the moment. another 2 months to go until i could complete my 9 months pupillage omg i just cant wait to finish. but yet, its gonna be a long long journey for me, for everyone of us as well...

from time to time, ive been thinking of UK quite a lot, not only the shopping, weather, party, friends, but also i miss the life there and some special people as well. trust me, working life sucks, it seriously sucks. it feels like ive devoted all my time to work and my bed! and thats all. spend most of my weekends lying on bed, doing nothing but just rest, rest and rest. i need a vacation, a long one really. but without having a job, how am i gonna afford a vacation?! working in Malaysia is such a sympathy thing on earth, earning so little money but still we have to work more and more.

well its just a typical me for keep whining non-stop about life. sometimes i do wonder what will actually cheer me up. i still feel lost somehow, dunno what the future will be. everything has changed now as i always said. people around me is changing, even myself has changed as well. but hey im still the same old ben, with a little bit more weight, a little bit more wrinkles on my face, im literally getting old now. sometimes i wish i could turn back time and to cherish my uni life more, and to enjoy every single bit to the max. but is it a little bit too late now as the working journey will never come to an end. i do wish they have such thing called 'graduated' from work, but i know its unlikely unless i won a 100million lottery. haha! well in my dream maybe lol.

at least there's something i feel proud of myself, for being able to move on with my life no matter how miserable the situation was. well at least i tried to leave things behind and to forget the bygones. even sometimes i would feel reluctant to forget, but i just have to. i certainly duwanna stuck in misery no more and to think of something which is gonna be impossible to occur in my life. and i think im handling it quite well, with my mind and my heart. for better for worse, ive learnt not to worsen the situation and to manage my own emotion. i would rather choose to see everyone has a smile on their face then get annoyed with my drama as everyone knows bentan's drama is not easy to be handled with. lol

omg has benjamin tan already grown up?! how unbelievable lol. but yea, what happen has happened, so just let the bygones be the bygones. its totally no point for keep turning ur head back and to look at the past isnt it. i should have understood this ages ago, but forgive me, im still learning the meaning of life. ahh, i feel so much more relief now to decide to leave everything behind my head, by having my head held high all the time. all time low is totally a no no to me anymore.

big smile and i guess the only thing i need to do right now, is to put off those fat from my head to toes and to look straight at the front! hehe.

*love ben*

xxx

2011-05-05T07:29:00.001-07:00

tonight im feeling down,

ow well, its just another typical bentan's emo day =(

2010-12-17T01:37:00.000-08:00

Im back! Malaysia, truly Asia! Its been two months since I am back to this ‘lovely’ Malay-Land, and I have already felt like im having difficulties in speak in English! WTF!

OMFG, what the hell is wrong with me?!?! Its not too long since I left the UK but im seriously struggling in phrasing my sentence in English when I was on the phone with Mr Tall. Its so nice of him to give me a call every fortnight, at least I would have a chance to practice + brush up a bit for my proper English.

Awww im missing UK so so so much, I miss the weather, I miss the facilites, I miss the people, I miss the shopping! I have already foreseen all of these when I decided to come back to Malaysia, and its really happened now. Im all stuck in this crappy place once again and forever! You would never able to imagine how badly I cried at the airport on the day I left the UK, and also on the plane from Newcastle until I finally arrived Penang, I guess those who sat beside me might think im either insane or out of my mind. Well, maybe I was at that moment….

Im missing the student life when I don’t have to worry much about work, boss, and stress etc etc. Cant believe I would start my pupillage after just 3 weeks I landed Malaysia and now I will have to stuck here for the next 8 months boooo! Think it in a better way, by having a job, at least I would have something to do and to kill my time, rather than sitting at home looking at Cindy 24/7. I would really bore my skull out and screaming for help!

Oh yea, BenTan is now the trainee Associate, from Messrs Zaid Ibrahim & Co in Penang, shall I also introduce my fellow colleague from Northumbria University? Ow well, first of all, our lovely Miss Keavie H’ng has just joined a month before me! Omg omg omg! Its crazy, we were like best friends since college time, and then went to same Uni and now we are working in the same law firm! Also, Miss Doreen Lim aka my ex-flatmate in Newcastle and Miss Daphne Tan aka Keavie’s ex flatmate+ my ex-flatmate, and the both of them are our lovely seniors in the firm.

Well, im really glad to have them here with me, especially Daphne the Miss Boh Eng. She has offered me loadsa helps really, and guided me everytime I was asked to conduct some research or prepare a report or whatsoever, she will always be there to lend me a kind hand like my guardian angel *gag gag*, thousand thanks girl! And I guess I would be in misery when she is on her 3 weeks holiday next month sigh.

Ive got loads more to say but I think I should get back to work now. Im actually writing this during my working hour! Muahaha! Bet my boss is so gonna kill me if he found this out, but just for you info, he wont be around until next week hehe.

Oh Thank God Its Friday! Lets partyyyyyyy!

BenTan xxx

2010-09-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

finally, ive decided to go back to malaysia for good, in this coming october. it was really struggling in making this decision as there is too much to think about, worry about and wonder about. but why need to think so much when the answer is pretty obvious and clear. all these while i know im just too weak to accept the truth. or maybe i just feel reluctant to leave everything behind my head and afraid of any changes that i thought will affect my dreams.

thats what we call life isnt it. life is always not easy, and we all tend to make things complicated. despite making a decision, we need to think about the feeling of the other people as it might affect someone ie ur family, friends or even the people you love. of course we will try to strike a balance when making our decision, what is more important and what is least. ive to admit that it always hard for me due to my indecisive nature.

when something happened, it might help us to think all over again, to judge and to weigh what is the right thing to do. i believe all human beings are silly and selfish. some might be selfish by way of protecting themselves from getting hurt, while some might be selfish in wanting things to happen without considering about what the consequences would be.

well,im always the silly and selfish one. that just me, benjamin tan, a silly one who always try so hard to please another person, trying to be nice to everyone by thinking that it might be the only way in making everyone to like me. eventually i forgot the cherish myself and ended by making myself cheap and thus people thinks that im crazy or even psycho. but trust me people, i would not give a damn, not at all when i dont care about it anymore.

after being miserable for months, i think it is now the time to wake up from my own fantasies and dreams, and start to accept things that ive never learnt to accept. like what people always says, ' if it is not yours, it is not yours'. no matter how hard you try to achieve, by the end of the day it will still remain the same, it will still never be yours. maybe i just need to keep my eyes open, to see thing clearer and learn the lesson.

i believe that things always happen for a reason. on the good side, maybe it would be better for the all of us, ie by drawing things to an end. although it's sad, it's pain and suffering, thats how we learn everytimes after we fall, and then try our best not to repeat the same mistake ever again. from now on, i guess i just need to keep reminding myself, not to repeat this mistake again which has the possibility to ruin everything. love myself first before anyone and to protect myself from getting hurt by those who's not worth for it.

here, i thank the all of you for these precious lessons. and i will leave what belongs to the uk, remains in the uk. cant wait to begin the new chapter of my life. and im sure its gonna be a better one. there we go, the rebirth of Benjamin Tan. *fingers crossed*.

Benjamin x

2010-08-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

its been month since i last updated this crappy blog. ow well, ive finally passed the awful bar vocational stupid course. woop woop! and now im the semi-qualified barrister! honestly, im quite enjoying my holidays now without the need to worry about work, stress, client, boss, or maybe i have had enough in Buffet king, a stupid place which ive been working for almost 2 years by now!

so at this stage, im just thinking how to fully utilise the days ive got left in the uk. actually ive been secretly looking for a job in london without cindy's knowledge hehe. i know im a bad son but i really wanna live my life for my own self but not for anyone else including my family, someotherpeople or whatsoever. fingers crossed that some companies might invite me for interview and we will see from there and where destiny will bring me to.

a few days ago i received a quite-or-maybe-not-so-excited message from miss Daphne Tan. it was so sweet of her introducing me to her master, and so i could pursue my pupillage in the firm where she is currently chambering at, the same firm as miss Doreen Lim too, aka Zaid Ibrahim & Co (ZICO). sometimes i was thinking maybe it would be a good start to work at somewhere where we got friends, close friends, who will always lend u a hand when u need them. but still, i feel a bit..ermm..confused.

on the other hand, im still having my fingers crossed that some-good-hearted-company will employ me and sponsor me the working visa, so i could work in the London and to pursue my dream. after spending a few nights of thinking, thinking about future, about what i really want, what am i looking for in life. i certainly duwanna go back to malaysia, just like this, and then stuck in that miserable place forever, where i cant really be my true self.

but what can i do? previously, i keep finding reasons to make the thought of staying in the uk grows stronger, but i realise i should just stay for myself cause thats my life, not the others. people around me might think im crazy, psycho, or whatsoever, but being a guy like me, indecisive, weak, dramatic, who has been staying under the family's shadow for the past twenty years, i really wanna do thing for myself, and from there i will never regret my life.

what a dramatic post again. anyway, if god really doesnt allow me to stay, i will have no alternative but to go back. but trust me, i will never stay in penang for my whole life. i will never accept my fate but rather i will just fight for it, at least once in my lifetime. we will see!

so wish me best of luck people, i just wanna be happy after all. cheers!

*love*

bentan x

2010-06-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

woop woop, ive finally completed the damn bar vocational course, well provided i could pass all the 6 papers. im so gonna keep my fingers and toes crossed until 29th June 2010, the day when the result will be released.

its time to plan for my last 3 months in the UK. honestly, i dont feel like going back for good, but shame, it seems to be the only option i got at the moment. is there anything which is worth for me to stay in this cold country? i have no idea at all, seriously not even a clue.

a week ago, there was a random person who just came over to mine out of sudden. it was all surprises for what we have said and what we have done. i always thought ive learnt how to control my emotion, by not allowing any single person to mess with my feeling. but ive just failed to do so and even failed to control my tears once again.

am i too easy? or it was because i appreciate every single moment that we spent together? or i was just too desperate? or maybe being too nice to everyone? and at the end of the day, i keep hurting myself and my own feeling. but there is something that ive made it clear to myself, im just not a laid back type of guy, nor suitable to be in a relationship, im just too clingy and sensitive.

thing always gone a bit weird after all when i started to feel attached to someone. maybe i was thinking too much, expecting too much or its just simple, im a weirdo.lol. but seriously, im not seeking for anyone, nor wanting to be in relationship or whatsoever after having myself struggling in all these shites for the past few years. i have had enough. anyhow, i will still keeping my head held high.

as i always say, we always learn after we fell, learn how to deal with thing and learn to be a stronger person, learn to judge someone without looking at its cover. when times come, everything will be fine, especially the time after we evolved, evolve to be a better person.

Ben x

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

2010-05-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

2010-05-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

I will not make thing happen ever again, or even force thing to be happened. Thing will happen when it's meant to be happened, regardless how much dramas I've created or how much tears I've shed. I honestly believe one day, destiny will bring me back to where I belong, and there will be signs when the day has come...

Love,

Ben x

2010-05-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

recently, i have been asking the people around me that why life has never been easy? i really dont understand why life is so complicated and full of dramas? was it because human loves to create dramas or enjoy being in dramas? or this is what they called life? certainly, im an excellent creator of dramas and who always make things complicated. and then i blame life being so difficult. lol

something must be wrong in me, everything just doesnt go well lately and i really dont know where the problems are..with friends, exams, work and even relationship..there's none of them that i could really manage well. hello, is anyone there would listen to me? allow me to whinge whenever i need an ear? are you all bored with my dramas?

unfortunately, no one is here and im back on my own. or theres a selection of people who i allowed to share my feeling with, those people who i thought i could really share with when the world is against me, and who i could really rely on. who i could safe and protected to have them around when im alone and lost.

where are you my guiding angel? are you still there keeping an eye on me, making sure that im on the right track with every single steps that ive taken? do you still willing to share all my laughters and tears? and to make sure that im alright and living in happiness every single day? or you have already flown away from me to a different direction?

again, i feel lost, lost in a deep blue ocean, with no sun light, no stars, no directions, and no one is around even if i shout my throat out. or shall i just need to learn how to be on my own? adapt myself to every different situation and keep staying strong no matter what the obstacles are? so much doubt so many questions but only with a little bit of faith.

how emo i am, or i am just simply down, and yeah, im really emo and down today after all the shit that had happened to me throughout these few months. well, i would rather choose to blame the destiny and tiger year is not a good year for me. screw it and i will be ok tomorrow and the day after tomorrow =) x

2010-05-09T03:17:00.000-07:00

*clear throat* 4 more papers to go by now after drafting and negotiation assessment. seriously, i really hate negotiating and no one is gonna hire me to negotiate as i would just concede to any single thing that the other person asked for. * haha shame* anyway, another 2 days and i will be ended up in a court room, examination in chief a policeman, wearing the lawyer robe and wig. it sounds cool, but i cud kinda foresee that im gonna look so fat and ugly with the granny-alike-white-hair. *LOL*

well, thing has been changing from the past few weeks, and i thought ive become much stronger now, although i was still abit dramatic myself *just sometimes =P* but at least i hasn't been crying so much like how i used to, and learnt what my priorities are..exam exam exam *screw you exam*, pass the exam and fucking go back to malaysia, chambering, make more money, etc etc etc. isnt it sound interesting?

arghh there is so many things that i wanna do after the awful exam. ie, go for picnic at the beach, camp with friends near to the lake, get drunk every night and sleep on the street, go for farm-stay and play with the stinky sheep, travel around the uk but not to london again, having barbeque at the park and feed the birds with the leftover, etc.. i think i will just need to get myself a new clinique spf 40 and another bottle of sun cream spf 50, as i certainly dont wanna look tan like..

i still adore the fair and pinkish BenTan *teehee*

*love* x

2010-04-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

ahhhhh, 3 more days until my first paper, but im still feeling sleepy even before i start doing my revision. yawnnn...so i decide to watch an episode of series, and then start revising for the damn drafting skill.

basically, this paper just require a very good standard of written english and everyone knows both my written and spoken english suck. is it possible for me to improve my written english in 2 days time? i-m-possible. haha! but again, i ll keep trying. =P

well, weeks ago, i was told that this blog is boring..but i thought this is what blog for? its meant for us to express our feeling isnt it? and also somewhere for us to release our stress after a long day at work/ or even a depressed relationship. *shout out loud!!!*

maybe im not good in blogging nor in study, not even in handling relationship, but there's one thing im excellent in --- gossiping. lol. erm, i thought im well-known in gossiping?no? Bentan, the professional gossip queen! haha!

lol, just being stupid and wanting to have a laugh and hence stop emo-ing.

smile people *pepsi!* xxx

2010-04-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons

Finally content with a past I regret

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

the thought of moving on does kill sometimes, especially thinking that there will be nothing left between these two persons, nothing anymore..it hurts even when its healing, still we have to be strong enough to have a good life by only with ourselves.

when looking at the couples loving each of them, smelling their happiness, listening to their laughters, i have chosen not to say,not to hear, and not to see...at least it would make me feel a bit better or maybe im just jealous of them, at least they know what love is.

is it that pathetic for being single after all? does loneliness kill? YES it is, but only if you're silly, way too silly to think like that...life is always full of surprises, who knows we might meet the right person tomorrow? life will only get better once uve moved on. when sadness and loneliness trying to murder you, shout out loud and kick them away, never ever letting them bothering you again, although its not easy at all, but do try.

anyhow, im always the silly one. but i will keep trying and learn to be smarter.

its just another Bentan emo day, getting emo again when seeing the others celebrating love, while im still the lonely one in this cold country. well, lets move on, theres still plenty of fish in the ocean isnt it? and im gonna be a shark this time. hehe.

love xxx

2010-04-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

OMFG, cant believe my final exam is approaching and the first one will be held in a week time. yes, its a week!! its only 7 days until i will be sitting for drafting assessment! how am i gonna draft the particulars of claim for my client when i barely have any knowledge about drafting as the consequence of copying my coursemate's answer since the course started. *die*

i really need someone to shout at me and to grab my heavy arse to my rarely-used study table, to start revising and practicing my skill of drafting. argh!!!! i probably just need to shout at myself in front of the mirror and keep reminding myself that not many days left until the day i will be ended up crying in the exam hall. but thank god, its gonna be an open book exam where we are all be allowed to bring in our textbooks, whitebook, notes and the suggested answers. phewww, i truthfully hope that it wouldnt be that hard after all, after being lazy for the past few months, past few years to be precise. *die again*

time does fly, its gonna be my last exam in this 24 years of life. well, i do hope that it will be the last one for me as i really cant be bothered to go for another course after being stuck in school/college/university for the past 19 years (since ive started schooling at the age of 5) UNFORTUNATELY, from then, i will have to begin the awful journey of being an employer of some unknown firm or company. honestly, the thought of 9-5 working time does terrify me quite a lot, where we will all get stuck again, not in school, but at work until the day we finally close our eyes.( the day we die). is there any other options available where we could receive money, without the need of getting a job?

it seems to have one though, ermmm, which is marrying someone rich! and so we will have loadsa pocket money every months, for shopping of course, lazying around, doing whatever we love without the need to worry about any income, because that rich person will be paying every bit of them! haha, its just a silly little impossible dream of mine really. ( but i do wish this dream would come true!)

better stop daydreaming from now and get my big lazy arse back on the i-never-sit-on chair and to start revising for the annoying exam. and keep thinking that i will be able to get rid of this miserable course after the 28th of May, the day of having my last paper. from then i will be FREE!! sadly its just gonna last for a few months though until i finally get a job which require me to wear suit 24/7 and to flood my head with loadsa documents and reports. i could foresee that it might murder me one day! so better brush up the new skill of surviving =P

argh, damn Bar Vocational Course, i hate you, but do let me pass. teehee x

2010-04-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

finally, ive got back to Newcastle from the miserable London last night. there's a sign of relief which i never thought of its existence. i could finally put a full stop on whatever whoever whatsoever that i have been dreaming of for the past few months. now and again, there will be a lovely guy standing in front of the mirror, with a smile on his face. its me! =)

sometimes i would think that i might have wasted all my time on some unnecessary thing or person, begging to be wanted or even to be loved. but at the end of the day, who will ever care about what have you actually been wanting? no one but us ourselves. however, there will be no regret even if thing didnt work out, at least we learnt from it, gaining more experiences, and eventually get stronger in every sense. no matter how things ended, that person will always be there for us still, maybe not physically, but they will still be there. at least i believe they will.

do you think life is easy? it is NOT at all, i can assure u, especially when destiny is against you. by realising it will not gonna help even if we cry our eyes out, i thought it will be easier if we could just give it a dead line and promise ourselves that we will move on from then, move on from any single relating memories. but how to move on? is there any formula or any easier way? is there any steps or any rules that we need to obey? i bet no one on earth would be able to answer this questions in a sane way. or maybe im the insane one.

well, most people will tell you that 'time will heal it'. fuck, so what could we do while waiting for the time to slip away? cry our eyes out? intoxicating ourselves? keep whining to our friends? every single human being is struggling with the word 'move on' when the other party refused/refrained/rejected/ re-whatever to continue giving their love to the other half and insist to draw it to an end. there are always some reasons which will be given by one, but are they really reasons, or merely some excuses for not carrying on? no one knows but only that party who has chosen to give up. or its only simply 'he/she is just not that into you - by Greg Behrendt' , because action always speaks louder than words. but who cares whether if he/she is into you?

he/she is not into you + he/she doesnt want you as bf/gf = end of story. simple calculation.

move on might not be that difficult after all, as long as we have made up our mind and decided to do so. knowing that there will not be a slight chance that we would get back together, so why need to feel reluctant to let go. stand still on our feet and never allow anything to affect our decision. try hard not to look back and keep holding our head up high. thinking that we deserve a better person, a better life, without any dramas and tears. because a person will love you for who you are, regardless what race you are, where you from or even how shite you are.

he/she loves you+ happiness+ laughters - tears = love story. again, simple maths.

anyhow, shall we hate the person who doesnt love us? shall we seek revenge or even pray for karma on them? ermm maybe not because god is always there keeping an eye on us, he knows what we have done and will always bless us. chose to hate that person might not gonna help, because we will never really hate someone who we have shared our heart with nakedly, but im sure we will become good friends once again when time goes by. simply because we have both kept each other in our hearts even after the story has come to an end.

we just need to say goodbye by now, or maybe this is the best solution after all.

Goodbye love.

well, life goes on, so keep smiling and keep keep smiling people, and live for today as no one knows whats gonna happen tomorrow. say cheese =) xxx

2010-04-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

sometimes i was thinking, maybe we could just stop being stubborn in a thing, and letting it go when we need to, instead of upsetting ourselves by living in the past. everyone knows that thing will never happen even if we force it to, especially when it' s never meant to be happened. be more laid back and relax, maybe by this way, we will feel much better, at least we knew that we have already tried our best. so why regret if you have put all our effort in it and thing doesnt turn out as what we expected. the only thing that we can do is to allow time to dilute it, and one day when we look back, we might find ourselves being so silly and even laughing at ourselves for being so stupid. but well, i believe that everyone will go through this, at least for once in our lifetime. so chin up and keep smiling =)

xxx

2010-04-13T17:51:00.001-07:00

Jusitn Lo - A Song Per Day

every time when i’m thinking of you

I just don't know what to do

pinch myself when i’m dreaming of you

making sure that you can love me too

how it slip away all my happy days

though i’m acting cool when i’m feeling blue

just to show you that i’m through with you

oh i never want it to

how can the love’s so beautiful ever slip the way

when i get to the place i swear i’ll write you a song each and everyday

oh god i’m missing you is driving me so insane

standing all alone in pouring rain

can't explain can't explain my pain

I miss you just that I am not to you

2010-04-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Better In Time - Leona Lewis

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming
Thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All that I know is I'mma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I'll believe in
And I know time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It'll all get better in time

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too

It'll all get better in time

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)

It'll all get better in time

2010-04-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

2010-04-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight I Wanna Cry, by Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight

I've got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if i turned the sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry......

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I've thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with this pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry......

2010-04-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

DNR - Talk to Me

You talk to me

You speak with me

Don't sink before you rise baby

Don't fade away

You hesitate

You seem to wait

For all the time we had

Feels like a world away

Who's to say, we'll be ok

We will make it through the night

Don't wanna wake up in this state

I just want us both to smile

Cause we're the same

And I know that we'll never change

Look I bought your favourite ice cream

I don't wanna see it melt away

If you walk out now

I don't know if we're gonna be the same

Baby just talk with me

Cause I want you to stay here with me

The memories

The things we did

I locked inside my heart

Where I know I won't forget

And now, whos to say, well be ok

We will make it through the night

Don't wanna wake up in this state

I just want us both to smile

Cause were the same

And I know that we'll never change

Look I bought your favorite ice ream

I don't want to see it melts away

If you walk out now

I don't know if we could be the same

Baby just talk with me

Cause I want you to stay here with me

I want you to stay here with me

2010-03-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

i was always been told that,

'theres stil loadsa fish in the ocean

so why do u need to be sad?'

and i replied,

'how if i just like that kinda fish,

n thats the only one left in the ocean?'

then she said,

'but thers still some other much better fish out there,

you will never know if u dont move on.'

maybe im just too stubborn

or i just feel so reluctant to wave my hand

to all the memories we got.

im still missing u everyday

and keep holding the hope

that one day we will be together

it hurts me everytime when i was thinking

that you're gonna let me slip away from your life

and that you'll never care about anything, anymore.

unlike me, i know ya strong enough to do so

maybe i really need to let u go

if ure not gonna love me anymore

n i wish someday, time will heal it

the headsore

and refill it again with love.

*hugs*

2010-03-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

ive been listening to this song for the past few days

namely, Yong Qi ( Courage), by Fish Leong, a malaysian singer

the lyrics of the song are

what im gonna say to u, my love

here is the song for u

*love*

勇氣 (梁靜茹)

Courage (Fish Leong)

終於作了這個決定　別人怎麼說我不理

Finally made the decision, I won't listen to what other people say

只要你也一樣的肯定

As long as you are also just as certain

我願意天涯海角都隨你去

I'm willing to follow you to the ends of the earth

我知道一切不容易

I know it all won't be easy

我的心一直溫習說服自己

My heart is always brushing up on convincing itself

最怕你忽然說要放棄

I'm most afraid that you'll suddenly say you want to give up

愛真的需要勇氣　來面對流言蜚語

Love really needs courage to face gossip and rumors

只要你一個眼神肯定　我的愛就有意義

As long as certainty is expressed in your eyes, my love has meaning

我們都需要勇氣　去相信會在一起

We all need courage to believe we'll be together

人潮擁擠我能感覺你　放在我手心裡

In a crowded stream of people I can feel you

你的真心

Putting your sincerity into my hands

如果我的堅強任性　會不小心傷害了你

If my adamant headstrong ways will hurt you accidentally

你能不能溫柔提醒　我雖然心太急

Can you gently remind me? Although my heart is too anxious

更害怕錯過你

I'm more afraid of passing over you

2010-03-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

短短的人生中

总会有点

遗憾与无奈

2010-03-20T02:51:00.000-07:00

im praying hard

for miracles

and now

im having fingers

and toes crossed

*love*

2010-03-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

life gets much better

and happier

with less expectation

*heart*

2010-03-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

ive been trying to keep myself busy today

cooking lunch with my flatmate

having a long chat with her while having lunch

arranging all my notes

reading my witness statement

preparing my uni work

having dinner at mr kwok's place

watching series at his while eating

figuring how to cross examine the complainant for tomorrow session

writing out all my questions

while i was concentrating on how to cross examine mr fisher

the picture of you came into my mind out of sudden

when i was trying to write out my questions

i stopped there for a while and wandering

how if u really gonna walk out from my life

i cant lie to myself anymore because i was really scared and terrified

miss keavie hng popped into facebook this afternoon

telling me that she has just read my blog

and she said

' stop being silly my silly friend! '

' do you think if you change, that person will then be with you?'

' you're just lying to yourself! '

i walked away and trying to ignore her words

certainly i duwan any other comments to affect my feeling towards you

is it silly to love someone?

is it silly for hoping to be with someone that you love?

maybe it is not, if that person is the right one

im still keeping my faith

and having faith in you

i believe its just not the right time yet

and i know you always want me to change

to be a stronger and better person

who you used to like a lot

argh bentan,

wipe your tears away from your face

theres still a long long way to go

stay strong and try your best to improve

and subsequently evolved to be a better person

and then you will always be loved

by the person you love

*heart*

xxx

2010-03-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

when i miss you

i re-read our old conversations

and smile :')

bentan miss u

xxx

2010-03-17T02:55:00.000-07:00

im gonna keep myself busy with

my uni work

my new book - p/s i love you

hanging out more with my mates

more working hours

etc etc etc

and so i will have less time to think about you

love,

bentan x

2010-03-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

im really sorry

i dont mean to bother you

and i dont mean to annoy you while ya busy

i thought ive done or said something wrong again

as u havent been talking much

and i dont know what was happening there

i was just thinking too much

and worried too much

because im scared

scared that i would lose you again

please come back to me when ya finally free

and to tell me that

you will always love me x

2010-03-16T05:15:00.000-07:00

i think i shall give u a break now

a break from all my dramas

but i hope u to u know

i love you

2010-03-16T04:37:00.000-07:00

Its bentan's drama show now lol. sigh, i think ive ruined everything once again. i keep telling myself not to message, stop the drama, etc. but i think u should know me well, that i just couldnt stop being like this.

i always thought u like bentan for being who he is. remember, uve already called me a drama queen from the very beginning, and i think i just gotten more serious now. maybe bcoz every single day i was just thinking how to have u in my life and always do all the stupid thing, which ended up being so dramatic.

u know what, i love everytime we hav the serious talk on skype, coz i could always tell u my feeling and my stupid tears just couldnt stop dropping. and now, i know im nearly losing u, u probs just tired of all my dramas. ive got no one to blame but myself cause i never realise that the more i wanna hold u, the more ive made u go away.

i never thought i would like someone so much, n i dunno why i like u so much. u always mean to me, always make fun of me, always make me cry lol but i still like u so much ayoh. sometimes i was thinking if i could just let u go during the time when u first shouted at me, maybe i dun have to suffer so much today.

but i wud rather think that it was destiny which brought us here. and so we would appreciate each other more after everything tat we have been through. ive to admit that i was really happy everytime i talked to u, although theres loadsa dramas n tears too, but still i wanna thank you for all the nice memories, at least i could feel tat i was loved.

i kept telling myself not to cause any drama cause not long until i could see u..but i did it once again, tats just me. and i think u ll never wanna come to see me again, i know ya tired of me n lost all ur faith in me.

im such a terrible person, who doesnt deserve u. if i could be a bit laid back, n more relax, maybe i ll be having u already, but im just being such an annoying drama queen. sorry hun, i know im not capable to bring u any laughter n joy anymore. i feel very pain inside for thinking tat ure gonna walk away from my life, as all these while ive been trying so hard to make thing works between us. but i know no matter what i said or what i do now, it will just be drama for u.

anyway, please keep smiling no matter how, remember i always say i like when ya smile. also, remember to drink more water everyday, and dun eat too much of heaty and spicy food. plz take good care of yourself. i promise i will stop crying n take good care of myself n do well in my study.

i will always miss u n love u somehow. i really duwan u to go n i hope thers anything i can do to have u back. u know i ll do anything, anything just to be with u. xxx

2010-03-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

我希望我爱的，

是被爱的感觉，

而不是你。

2010-03-05T11:03:00.000-08:00

well, its March again.

omg i cant believe that time just flies

my visa is gonna end in 8 months time

and im stil unsure with what i should do

its a very hard decision to make indeed

i was trying to figure out the good side and the bad side

of staying in the UK, or to back to malaysia

im just confused

im told that i should choose what is best for me

but what is best for me?

and what ive been wanting all these times?

sigh

anyway, i still have time to think about it

to decide which path to take

the decision which would keep me smiling for the rest of my life

fingers crossed xxx

2010-01-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

its been a week since im back to newcastle

doing the same old thing still

lazy-ing, drama-ing, msn-ing and facebook-ing

ah god, why am i so lazy?

was wondering whether is there any medication which would make people more hardworking

i will definitely get a hundred dozen of it lol

a few days ago, i was walking at the northumberland street

all the unknown faces passed by me

while i was shivering walking down the street alone

ive started to miss all those familiar faces

which has been surrounding me for the past few weeks

out of sudden, i realise that i really miss them, miss them very much

i miss having my naughty cousins making up so much noise around

i miss having my mum kept mumbling for everything like 24/7

i miss getting calls from cpy every single hours

i miss keavie hng tuapui kept nagging that i didnt make effort to see her

i miss listening to melody barks

i miss them

and now, im back to this cold, silent and lonely flat again

staring at the laptop's screen from the moment i got up

until the last second before i off to bed

i keep questioning myself, why i did so many thing just to remain in this kinda place

is this really what i want?

is this the life ive been looking forward to?

sadly,even me, myself dont really know what i actually want

it sounds sympathetic huh?

i can assure you, it sucks to look at the mobile, waiting for a reply from someone

its really shite to keep refreshing the facebook page or keep scrolling on the msn list

to see if someone has come online for me to speak to

so i could kill all my lonely times and anticipating to being loved

why, why am i being so silly, once again

its not the first time though

everyone knows that ive been silly all these times

by keeping myself waiting for the miracle to be happened

im the same old brand me still

who has never learnt after all ive been through

ive tried to be strong really, i just feel reluctant to move on

and to realise that you are just not that into me

my tears dropped whenever i was trying to forget all the memories we had

i really dont want to

at this moment

im seriously lost with no direction

can someone please tell me what to do

and please kindly pull me back on track

and wipe my tears off my face

i know there's only one person in the world

who will be able to do so

its me, myself

be strong ben

*love*

xxx

2010-01-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

Dearest KEAVIE H'NG TUAPUI,

I LURVE YOU BIATCH! =P

With Love,

BEN

xxx

2010

2010-01-19T03:01:00.000-08:00

its been years since i last updated my blog

well, im a well-known hangat tahi-tahi ayam person, aint i?

2010, as usual, im having my fingers and toes crossed again

hoping that it will be a new start for me

the white flag of mine, has been waving up high in the sky since forever

surrendering to god

that im tired

exhausted

knackered

of expecting life will be better after all

i bet most people is bored of listening to me

complaining how unfair my life is

blaming god that why he didnt treat me nicely

and never allow my dreams to come true

was it really my fault to be so negative?

or it was my problem for not appreciating that ive already got?

anyhow, there is one thing which i want for sure

which ive been wanting all my life

is to being loved

by my family

my friends

and the right person of mine

i would like to thank all the people who has always been there for me

and i promise

i will learn to love myself

from today onwards

love,

Ben

2008-08-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

grrr, im getting confused with certain matters lately

totally have no idea how to sort this thing out

and to have the matter fixed

i've to admit that i've got upset with it

im not looking to ruin my friendships

yet, im really bad in handling all these

clearly, things have changed after all

and i've to say that it's not anyone's fault

it seems to be my fault actually..haha

argh, it's probably my bad habit again

as i always expect people to treat me the way i treat them

and get upset easily, especially when they dont do the same

however, it doesnt work at all

and thus, i dare not expect anything and i shouldnt have too

in order not to be dissapointed in return

sounds silly huh!yea, that's me.

therefore, it's a must for me to have some minor changes

as well as adapting myself to any situaion

i should have known that everyone needs space

to catch up with whatever thing which they'd missed out

consequently, i've chosen not to get 'involved' and rather be alone

anyhow, i didnt change much though

even if i did, im just merely changed to be the one

who they wish and want me to be

otherwise, i really dont know what and how to do

in order to figure it out

im lost, im lost again in the friendship's thingy

i clearly know that tears wouldnt help

hence becoming more brave would be the only solution eventually

i want to sort everything out with a smile on my face rather than e a wet pillow

another 20 days more

im gonna say goodbye to malaysia again

and had my 'sexy butt' backed in newcastle.LOL

to be honest, i do feel reluctant to leave

but just stop pondering and worrying

instead appreciate the lil time we've left

from what i've seen

it appears hard for us to get back to how we used to be

yea, it's the time to grow up and wave our hands to childishness

stay happy and appreciate what u have at the moment

no matter how far v're apart

u will always possess a special place in my heart, always

sometimes relationship will change

however, bear in mind that

sweet memories will never ever change

2008-08-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

back in my empty room

with my gal, marice by my side

well, she is my lovely dog

which has been staying with my aunt for the past 13 months

and now she is back

but just for a few weeks

since i will be going back to newcastle soon

and cindy was claiming that she's unable to take care both of melody and marice at once

well, it's the 24th days since i've backed to malaysia

as usual, i did nothing much again today

however, i've been reading the blog of some mystery person, aka mr MIA this evening

it leads me to loads of thoughts and had all matters stucked in my mind again

yeah, he is right though, i need to make up my mind

i probably have to stop being the one who i used to be

stop being so sensitive

stop to expect anything from anyone else

stop to be too dependant

and stop being the so called 'crowd' as well

in the past few years

i'd actually ruin quite loads of thing in my life

it's basically my friendship

i've been expecting too much from them

and always wanted to get what i've given

it doesn't work though but just made them to hate me more

and lost them eventually

hence, my dear friends, i hope it's not too late to apologize

*sorry*

i've to admit too that im not a good friend though

as im not a good person

but as what people always say

no one is perfect

at least, i will always try to be as perfect as i can

from this moment onwards

i've to stop pondering whether do i've a special place in their hearts

stop pondering whether im part of their lifes

instead, i need to learn not to expect anything

and yeh, im stil learning

as it is a lesson for lifetime

referring to mr MIA

i've to thank you for everything and it did help me loads

thus im gonna shoutout loud with u

'God, why cant life be simple?'

also, i will shout to the fella

appears in the mirror whenever i had my tooth brushed or face washed

'bastard,can u please fucking be more optimistic!'

LOL! =)

im back

2008-08-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

Finally im back!
im back in malaysia
ma tanah air again
LOL

argh, its so f-warm here
n i cant help sweating every single day-hour-minute-second
grrrrrrr!!!!

awww, im missing the weather in NCL
as well as ma lil room 1
n my silky duvet

frankily, it's kinda bored to be here
did nth at home
but just drama, drama n drama

anyhow, ive a new entertainment now
the Beijing Olympic 2008
omg, the athletes r HOT~

another 28 days to go
i ll b back, i promise
see u again northumbria

muackssss
xxx

2008-07-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

its 6.17 in the morning

n i jz woke up from my weird dreamz

i wish tat i could hv sum sweet dreamz which may com true

unfortunately, im nt always tat lucky thou

ive a big announcement to make

well, i might not be goin back to malaysia on this coming 20th

ermm, im nt the one who has made this decision

n yeh, its cindy...

i jz hv to obey her as this is the path tat ive chosen

im the one who stand strong n strive so hard for the BVC and stuf

thus im deserve for wateva consequences of it

n im nt gonna look back anymore

dear kv, when i look at ur newly updated blog in a couple of min ago

my tears jz cant help to shed from ma eyes

argh, i hop u ll understd tat im realy helpless at the mo

n everythg isnt under my control thou.

u ll always support me for wateva decision ive made, aint u?

n always miss me n luv me no matter how far vre apart from, aint u?

but im sure tat u ll always sayang me=)

after another 15days

ponder when v ll meet each other again

arghhh, i bet im gonna miss u all very very muchie

n miss those time tat we've spent together

not only in the uk, but also in IPG n penang

no doubt, time is always cruel.

im gonna miss kv's laughter

im gonna miss yun's acting

im gonna miss zin's cincai-ness

im gonna miss rene's pongpong face

from 20th july 2008 onwards

i ll b all alone in room1 flat 2 sharperton house

wish tat loneliness ll b more generous to me

n allow me to get over it by myself

its hard for me thou

but sumhow, i stil nid to figure it out

its time for me to evolve

n to be a stronger version of Benjamin Tan Wei Zhit

dearest frends

no matter how hard it is

i believe that i ll b fine n able to get thru everythg

as wat cheng used to said, its useless to feel regret thou as ive oredi made the decision

anyway, i jz wanna tel u guyz tat

i ll always miss u all

*love u*

2008-07-04T03:22:00.000-07:00

again, ive being so lazy to update my blog.grrr!
pui, u r rite, no one ll gonna read it thou

anyway, im too bored at the mo n realy dunno wat to do.LOL

here's the updates.=P

well, im gonna thanks my dear mates for their lovely souviniers

muacksss, they've got it for me from different countries

which realy meant a lot to me
anyhow, i ll step my own feet on those countries one day

first of all, i got this Paris Disneyland T-shirt from my dearest puipui keavie

knw wat, i beg her for the plastic bag, bt she replies : 'i tot im gonna throw this bag away, u wan hor?' OVER! yea, i wan it!

the corak is kinda unique rite as kv always said tat she has got good sense of fashion, as i am.LOL

besides, ive got a perfume gel from france, as well as a chubee keychain from holland, given by my lovely housemate - miss kuih suling -

Paris Disneyland keychain from my ricric darl -mr eric 'bulanlapan'tin - Disneyland is always my favourite vacation n he knows tat.

lastly, a mickey lolipop and a effiel tower keychain from Zin, another tuapui, aka FeiChai Zin. LOL

thx thx thx, thx for the souviniers n i realy apreciate them a lot, another 2 weeks left, all of u ll b goin back to malaysia then

as time flies, thing keep changing. n thus i was wondering, how ll us b in the future

but sadly, no one knows...

2008-06-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

grrrr, ive been up for the whole nite again

btw, they're back finally

cant wait see to my puipui dear

i think i shud say my 'souviniers' from her instead!jkjk!

well, miss big mouth has came along to sharperton last9

for the cheesecake making-session

i guez she's gonna post those picz in her blog soon

dun b fooled mates

she's jz kesi kesi act like very gao innit

muahahahaha

but yeh, she did put loads of effort innit =P

as she used her precious fingers( with awful n lut chat black-coloured nails.lol)

to crash the biscuit for the cheesecake-based

as well as 'san san fu fu' apply the whipped cream

to decorate the cheesecake

know wat, she claimed tat she's lost her virginity to me

i mean virginity as to her 1st own-made cheesecake

well big mouth, no worries, its not bad thou

n taste canny delicious!

so, thanks to yr sifu, ahem -ME-

LOL!

nite out with an 'old mate'

2008-06-21T01:28:00.000-07:00

peeps, dun misunderstd yeh, she is nt old thou

jz merely a sexy n sluty bitch

muahahaha.neh neh neh~

she is gonna pinch me when she read this then

yeah, thx for the drinks n fries, as well as ur 'cheng teng' noodle

it's awesome to be honest

well, we've been chating non-stop for the whole nite

from the moment v met until the moment i left, lol!

so wat!v're always tat kapsiao rite?

as both of us hv sum similarities

-big mouth-

-sexy back-

-innocent(LOL)-

etc...

p/s: her mouth is bigger for sure =P

kinda enjoy the nite as i can totally be the real me

n loads of doubts have been clarified

its a bit unacceptable in the 1st place

but stil, tats the truth which v nid to get thru rite

gurl, u know wat, u r much more stronger than wat i thought

conversely, ive to admit tat im always weak

but at least i know wat to do now

n everythg ll get sorted soon,

i hope. yeah, it will =)

2008-06-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

yoh! ive been out for a drink with an 'old fren' of mine last9
omg, im seriously broke at the moment
n even need a gurl to buy me a drink
wat the hell!

im deserve for it anyway
as ive spent too much for shopping in this stupid summer
thanks to zara, gap, topshop, esprit n H&M
grrrrrr

dare nt ask money from ma mum again
i bet im gonna get killed if ive asked so
sounds like i hav an aggresive mum
but yeh, she is!lmao
cindy, paiseh ar.haha

argh, i nid to get a job rite now.
not blow job yeh.lol.

2008-06-20T00:37:00.000-07:00

guess wat, its 837am at the moment

but im awake still

wish tat i can fall asleep easily as others do

its jz seemed hardly for me

ive got so much of thing stucked in my mind

been depressed for nth

felt upset for a smal matter

im probably too lonely

all i nid now, is jz a simple u

only u, my insonmia will b cured

only u, loneliness will leave me away

only u, i will be chilled

although ive nvr seen u b4,

i know someday, destiny will lead u to me

so from now, i will be waiting here patiently for u,

until u come to me.

missing my puipui

2008-06-19T23:31:00.000-07:00

my puipui keavie has been to the europe trip since 5th of june

during the same night, ive been to blu bamboo with pohyin n frends

feel so strange w/o her in the club

since ive used to go for clubbing with her all these times

in the 2 weeks time, ive been to liverpool as well as london

n now, ive got backed, but stil, im missing her

realy cant imagine when she's nt here with me after this sept

i ll b all alone then

no one for me to rely on when im lonely

no one for me to hug when im sad n down

no one for me to merajuk when im pms

no one for me to play with when im bored

no one for me to argue with when im jiakpa bohsu coh

no one ther to pull me back on track when im lost

she will no longer be here to kap kap siao siao anymore

as i wun hv the chance to hear tat:

' ben, ure so smelly'( im not thou!)

' ben, shut up! i nid to sleep'

' ben, plz stop talking, i nid to focus'

' ben, shhh! '

' hana hana!haolian la!lafu la!'

i bet i ll b missing her badly

missing her laughter,

missing her chubee n kekdao face,

missing her mumbling,

missing her smell( her pillow's smell.lol!),

miss her hugs,

missing her bras n panties( lmao!),

n missing her makanan as well...

will u ever miss me, kv?

will u always b my bestie, kv?

will u always b ther whenever i nid u, kv?

i know u will =)

no matter how far the distance is

i promise u, i will always b here for u

miss u n love u loads

xxx

confession

2008-06-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

well, ive gone thru my older posts in a couple of minutes ago

only a word to describe it - L.A.M.E.

by the way, i feel a lil bitta guilty thou

again, ive broke my own promise as i dun actualy work very hard for my final yr to be honest

but nah, im nt gonna talk bout it anymore since v cant and shudnt've look back

its useless to feel regret or wat cz time has passed

wat i shud do now is to strive for my future, my life

as long as i know wat im doin at the moment

jz to make sure tat i wun feel regret for wateva decisions which ive made..

hopefully everythg ll go smoothly

it ll gonna be more tough for BVC

cant even survive if i stil continue to live in this kinda 'lifestyle'

argh!kuanyinma, plz giv me strength!

sorry mummy..realy sorry, i realy dun mean to make u feel bad

i swear i ll try my best to get thru wateva obstacles had in front of me

n to make u feel proud of me

luv ya mummy

IM BACK

2008-06-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

lol, im back..well, i mean im back to ma blog again..lol
it's like almost 1 yr tat i dun actualy signing init..nah, i think its bout 10 months maybe
argh, ive been damn lazy after ive stucked my arse in newcastle
wondering wat ive done ova here for these 10 months
seriously, realy hv no idea bout tat

'nua'ing?
dreaming?
'buffet'ing?
'drama'ing?
fucking?lol!

10 months!ive oredi been here for 10 months!oh god!
time flies as rocket! n now ive officially completed my degree! feel a bit unbelievable huh
i guez ma mum will gonna kill if she has find out my 'lifestyle' ova here
as ive been skiping most of the classes n seminars
but stil, i did put sum effort in my courseworks n exams..
pheww~at least it makes me feel betta thou..lol
2 more weeks, our result ll b released then

1st july will be one of the most important day in my life
kuanyinma popi!

LLB- 2nd year

2007-08-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

finally, i hav my 2nd yr final result today...furray~i hav pass everythg~
is tat wat i m actualy aiming for?jz to pass??mayb yes..mayb no...

my lifestyle during 2nd yr- LLb:
- crap in the class

- skip classes sum times

- pass up asignments late..

- online everyday..chating...

- watch tvb drama non-stop

- hang out with frenz til midnite..

as a result, i only manage to obtain an overall mark of 54.75 for my 2nd yr final...
54.75 - Second Lower Division Classification
isn't good enuf, i know..tats the consequent of being lazy..

therefore :
- work harder in UK in order to obtain for better result for my 3rd yr~Gambate!

genting/kl trip, day 3- 10/8/07

2007-08-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

1st Station - 1 Utama

- JUST THAI- * * * *

Pineapple fried rice- ordered by keavie
comment- nice

Seafood fried rice- ordered by ben
comment- not bad

Prawn fried rice- ordered by yapfook
comment- oklo..

coconut milk with chestnut- ordered by both ben n yapfook
comment- very nice!!!yummy~

Next Station

-MAISON CLUB- * *

comment - only a single word to describe-"sien"...

but $0 of cover charge is needed~( of cz the beer n liquor aint free!)

genting/kl trip, day 2/ part 2- 9/8/07

2007-08-13T04:10:00.000-07:00

Luna Bar--->

-took us more than 30min to reach there from klcc...

-it's a nice but a bit boring place to be..

-suitable for those couples...ther's pillows n bed-aliked thg..wher u can lye on..chating n kissing with ur lovers...:P

-a place u can swim n enjoy with a glass of cocktail at the same time..(i think the pool is jz 4 display purpose~hehe)

-u ll see a lot of crazy ppl keep on taking photoz..included me..

In conclusion, luna bar is a place to take photoz n waste money...

genting/kl trip, day 2- 9/8/07

2007-08-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

after a nite stayed in genting, v went to kota damansara..my bro's house.. klcc is our nx destination..

klcc- the proudest building of Malaysia which represented Malaysia in the eyes of the world..has been one of the highest building in the world b4..but i 4get the yr of it..hehe...

a nice to place to shop, but jz for those rich ppl n foreigner...for us, nah! only window shopping is available for us..however, keavie may b the expectional case!hehe..

genting/kl trip, day 1- 8/8/07

2007-08-13T03:19:00.000-07:00

i agree with others tat genting is a nice place with cold weather, fresh air, nice environment...

on the other hand, i agree with those kaki judi too tat genting is a sucky place to lose money..with expensive food n drink...

however, i had a nice trip over ther..although i hav lost rm160 for the 1st time being in the casino..

i m legal finally!!i m an adult now!21 yr old d!it's proud when the police asked for my ID while i was about to entered into the casino...means tat i stil look young!muahaha..

some police might 4gotten to wear their spec, since they r asking the 24 yr old- yapfook for his ID..ishh...isn't he looks young too? yup, mayb...but, i m sure tat he looks- childish..hehe..

LLB/ NU in IPG~

2007-08-13T02:58:00.000-07:00

well, i hav been 2 yrs in ipg...how shud i describe ipg?a place for craping? a place for dreaming?wrong wrong wrong, i shud say it's a place to study..in fact it is..

stil remember during 1st yr in ipg, our criminal lecturer, mrs ari asked me, y i wanna study law?tat moment, my mind was blank..n i answered her: ' no reason'..it's funny rite with my answer..nop,it's not funny. v shud hav our ambition, a plan for our future; but for me, i m not..my future is stil blur..

by the way, ipg's life is happy. it provides me a gang of close buddies..nice library, nice lecturers, nice study environment..lol...it jz me, who dun actualy apreciate with wat i hav..conversely, i do apreciate the frenship i hv gain over ther...

thank god, since i m able to pass my 1st yr in LLB..tmr ll b the day for us to collect our result for 2nd yr..feel worry, nervous, happy, reluctant, sad, etc.. at the same time..

worry- frankly speaking, i m quite worry bout my result, since i din actualy put much afford on it..

nervous- due the reason of laziness, tat is y ll feel nervous with the marks i wud get..

happy- yeah, happy cz finally can go to uk~ provided i can pass my 2nd yr *exclusion clause:P

reluctant- so reluctant to say goodbye to ipg..hehe..

sad- hmm, y shud i feel sad?rite?

lastly, thx 2 ipg, for provides me such nice n unforgetable memories..i luv u, ipg...muahaha...

blogspot, hate @ love u?

2007-08-13T02:52:00.000-07:00

i hav been struggled for weeks..due to the failness to sign into my blog...
but today, finally i m able to sign in now..

times pass realy fast..jz 27 more days, i might b leaving..not goin to die..but goin to uk soon..
yes, tats my dream...to leave m'sia..to a country which hav spring, summer, autumn n winter..

on the surface, it seems like happy n excited..but in fact, it's full of worriness...wat 2 do? jz wish tat i can adapt to uk's life, weather n everythg as soon as posible...

朋友 vs 敌人

2007-06-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

朋友到底是什么东西啊 ?
人常说 :在家靠父母，出外靠朋友。
那么做朋友的定义不就只是互相利用吗 ?
所谓人不为己，天诛地灭，难道人类就是那么现实及自私吗 ?
好累好困，好不想面对那复杂的人际关系。。。

以前常认为，只要你对别人好，别人就会对你好。
但这是事实吗 ?在这现实及可怕的社会里，这句话还存在吗 ?
又有人说，对于朋友的付出，是不应该希望朋友也会如此的回报你，
但又有多少人是那么的大方呢 ?难道有谁又不想得到朋友的支持和关怀呢 ?
或许是失望，是心淡，而对 ‘真心朋友 ’的定义感到绝望。。。

朋友真的是一生一起走吗 ?朋友真的不曾孤单过吗 ?
有谁能够告诉我一个真真的答案呢 ?
或许应该学习刺猬般，披着一层尖锐及坚硬的外衣，来保护自己，以免被朋友或敌人所伤害。。。

她的背后

2007-04-22T01:52:00.000-07:00

在那美丽的背后，有谁会看到失眠的折磨?
开心快乐的背后，有谁会看到失落的灵魂?

那美丽女人的背后，
又有谁会看到她被日夜煎熬的脸颊?
又有谁会看到她那两行咸咸的泪水?

她的背后，
有谁知道她所受尽的委屈?
有谁知道让她哭泣的原因?

她的背后还隐藏了些什么没人懂的心事 ?
是孤独? 是心淡? 还是那肝肠寸断的爱情?

她那迷了路的灵魂，
何时才能找到出路，
从可怕的恶梦里，醒过来 ~

when people says:

2007-04-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

when people says~

when people says public law is a boring subject, but

Keavie(puipui) said: babi loh...

when people asks u, orange juice or apple juice? but

Clovey(kiamkiam) said: oleng jus...

when people sings pussy cat dolls' dont cha in redbox, but

Cheng(pehpeh) said: dont say...

when people perli u, "perasannya budak ni!' but

Edward(oo key) said: perasaan...

when people says thank you, but

Ben(pongpiah) said: toilet...

finally, when people asks irene, whose face bigger?

Irene(homelove) will says:.............

because she will become temporary deaf and dumb:P

裂痕 ~

2007-04-18T01:18:00.000-07:00

曾几何时，日本鬼子可是所有华侨最憎恨的，他们凌杀无辜，强暴妇女，导致了很多血光之灾的发生。。。

自从第二世界大仗后，日本就开始发愤图强。。。

如今，世界各地都对日本另眼看待。我想，日本现在算是很多人向往去旅游的国家吧~

但对那些‘生还者来说，日本人在他们心里留下的疤痕，是永远都不会痊愈的。。。

真的有破镜重圆吗?不可能吧。。因为那镜面上还是会残留着---裂痕~

* 可爱的日本木偶 ~谢谢爱翎。呵呵 !

u ll get 4 wat u hav paid

2007-04-17T09:30:00.000-07:00

previously,i always look 4 cheap thg..tot can save more money..but now i started to understd wats mean by 'u ll get 4 wat u hav paid'..

its quite true actualy, cz there ll b no free lunch for us..it's imposible 4 us to pay for a price of kancil to get one BMW 5 series rite?

for me, i rather use those unbrand stuf better than use those fake o not original stuf..for sum, they may be think tat i m those ppl who always use branded stuf..ohh plz..wat branded i m using?i dun think they r branded...esprit,guess,pdi,giordano,ck, dkny r jz the normal brand..

branded r those LV, gucci, burberry la..but those r my aims la actualy..lol..duno hav to wait til when,i only managed to get one of them..wat to do, work hard n earn more money soon la..

so, dun ever dream tat u ll get a good thg with a cheap price..mayb it does exist, but for sure, it's rare.....

关系 ?

2007-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

人与人之间的关系到底是怎么一回事?

有的时候, 我真的怀疑，这世上真的有完美的爱情吗? 真的有最要好的知己吗?
我想，就连一位心地善良的普通朋友都很难求，毕竟这个世界就是那么的现实。。。

人，总是自私的，总是永远把自己放在第一位。有多少人会用心的关心及照顾身边的所有人呢? 真的会一视同仁吗? 朋友之间，也会有亲疏之别。。。

人与人相处就是那么的不容易，是一门很深奥的学问，或许这就是所谓的‘人生’ 吧~

My new little gal~Marice

2007-03-31T01:28:00.000-07:00

Hello,my name is Marice Tan May Lee, a maltese gal, 11 weeks old now..~u can called me as Marice o Maylee..i dun mind..haha..Dino is my real dad n my mum named Billy~i m the only gal in this batch,my mum very keng, gv birth to 4 pups include me..quite miss my another 3 broz,wish they can live happy in future..luckily now i hav another sis~melody..hehe..

Hello, i m melody's and marice's daddy-benben!!!!actualy a lot ppl dont agree n dont support me to get this little gal,mayb i m too degil..i realy hop i can owned this little gal..i hav visited her since she was 3 weeks old..i stil remember,she was so tiny tat time..jz opened her eyes n started to crawl..so lovely..i visited her every single week..until the day she reached my house,when she was 8 weeks old..

*my sis-melody looks sleepy(maksiap) in the pic..hehe~cz always bullied by me at nite~

Anyhow, wish tat she can grow up bcom a beautiful gal soon~daddy love u always..

p/s* love melody oso la of cz..abo later ppl tot i very unfair!!big smal heart!!!hehe..

Disapointed~

2007-03-30T03:27:00.000-07:00

long tim din updated my blog d..since i know tat my melody dint pregnant..i was so so so sad....

but its ok..nvm..the breeder will giv me one more chance~

cheh..not me..is melody..one more chance 4 her..hehe..

its realy damn disapointed when the vet told me tat..she is not pregnant..but wat 2 do..is not the 1st time d eventhough..used to it d la..hop tat she wun make me feel disapointed again this coming heat..gambatek ya melody...

this notti gal~i oredi cut her into a short-coated look~

easier to maintain la..save my time from grooming..haha..lazy daddy here~

she bcom jiejie d..i jz bought a meimei~but this bad kakak..always bully her adik~hehe.so was whacked always..strict daddy over here!!!!

this pic took b4 she done her hair cut by me!!!muahahahaha

reunion~Mar 2007

2007-03-30T02:40:00.000-07:00

jush'n n beh coming back from india again...reunion again.....eat again.....fat again.....
the excited moment tat i can hav is tat v are having our gathering in tao autocity..damn delicious ler the japanese food over ther..pohyin,jushn,yiling n me makan alot~shit beh pang aeroplane again..ishh..our miss chan pohyin,who actualy look damn skinny..but try to imagine how much she ate!!u ll get shock with it~
unfortunately,v din grap anypic at tao....
however, 2 days later,si kia sean came back from johor bahru to meet us..thus v're having our 2nd reunion at autocity again,but shifted to fish market d...omg.the food in fish market realy damn exp..but i din makan la..haha...
but realy quite happy to meet them~alot sweet memories v hav b4~whers hui?inghui~~wher r u~she ll b back soon..this aug,i guess v ll b able to take a pic which included everyone of us~
fr3nz4eva~

Melody~after mating...

2006-12-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

finally,i brought melody to mate with dino...she seems like very like him..keep play with him..i know tat she is kinda naughty..hm..playful la actualy..but to prevent any accident which may happen,it is much more saver for me to keep her in cage..cz i was told to avoid her from jumping..
so now,the main thg i worry bout is whether she ll get pregnant onot..i hv been disapointed during half yr ago..i realy worry bout tat..cz i duwan..n oso dun hop to get disapointed once again..i realy hop tat i ll recif a good news from her...
i guess mayb she ll blame me..on several reasons...haizzzz.....
anyway..wish her ll bcom happier n happier day by day..hop tat she could b more mature after bcoming a mother...
may god bless her always~

Pity notebook~

2006-12-30T07:37:00.000-08:00

my pity notebook was infected by virus again last few days..cz me cant even on9,watch drama,chating etc...my life bcoms so lonely without it..hehe..
mayb it's a good thg oso..at least i can put on more times on my courseworks...damn coursework..so so so pekchek with it..jz started only..stil a long long way to go...
i guess i ll b mad soon with them!help!!!!!god save me plz!!!

Dino~Melody's future husband...

2006-12-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

Today,Melody is already 2 yrs old n 3 months..is an adult dog d..so,i hav plan to breed her..so i ll b a 'grandpa' soon..haha..Last few months,i've mate her with my uncle's maltese boy..i was so happy during tat time bcoz i realy wish to c her babies...however,it change back wif disapointment..a month after mating,i brought her for ultrasound..but the vet said tat there wasnt any pup in her uterus.sobs sobs..waste my money only..jkla.this is nt the main reason..but its realy disapointed..

Jz this tuesday,when i was combing her fur b4 her bath,suddenly i saw blood on her 'pxkpxk' ther..its com so sudden!hehe..i think lots of ppl duno the cycle of period for dogs..usualy,the cycle is around every 6 months...but its only 5 months from melody's 2nd period.(this time is the 3rd period)..I expected tat her period ll b coming nx month,but it jz com so sudden..i was so excited but at the same time,i was worry too..the main prob is Where to find a husband for melody?!?!..This tuesday,i start to do sum research..ask my frend for help..

Luckily,i found a maltese breeder from pg,hence i send an email to n ask for sum details..The nextday, yesterday,i recif his email,he shows me his dog's pic..wah.the dog named Dino..he is a Malaysian Champion Maltese..wow..imported from taiwan sumore..futhermore,the breeder is from BM too!!!!wahhhh..can save my petrol d..hehe..at the same nite,i brought my melody to c her future husband..i guess melody sure ll love him since he is so handsome,with white long coat,longan's black eyes,etc..haha..

Now,v need to discuss bout the fee of stud service..normally,ther r 2 ways for it..either gv a pup to the owner of the male dog, or pay him sum money..since Dino is a champion maltese..can guess tat the fee is not cheap too.

However,for me,the fee is stil worthy..cz Dino is realy a nice n beautiful dog,sumore he is a TBM(taiwan born maltese)..haha..thus,i ll bring melody to meet her husband again on 20th of december..this time,i realy wish tat she is able to get pregnant n giv birth to some cute little baby maltese..so,this ll b my last wish for this year 2006..

Melody~

2006-12-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

Melody was in long coat at 1st,her white fur nearly reach the floor d..so her responsibility is to sweep my house's floor every single day..hehe...jkjk..but frankly,its realy damn dificult to maintain n take care of her long coat..need to comb every single day..thers tangles a lot sumore..its realy takes times..futhermore,she doesnt like me to tie up her hair..which has keksi me..

Hence, after this chinese new year, i cut off her fur..hehe..wahh..look cute too rite?its realy save a lot of times..save shampoo n conditioner too..hehe...a lot ppl prefer her short coat look..look more clean n tidy..

However,I did feel very bad for not celebrated her 1 yr old birthday..feel a bit guilty for tat too..cz she has accompany me to pass my lonely 19th birthday n 20th birthday..at least,i m not alone..i stil hav her to accompany me..sobs sobs..its realy very lonely if v jz stay alone during our birthday..i 100% understand this kinda feeling bcz i hasnt hv any birthday cakes for 3 yrs d..

Luckily, i stil hav melody with me..so,during her 2 yr old bday on 13th sept..hehe..i organised a simple party for her..invite her only guest-baby,my shih tzu(is my bro's actualy)...

I realy hop tat i can celebrate for her 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15.....yrs old birthday..until forever..luv u always melody~

My little daughter~Melody

2006-12-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Actualy is Melody tat has induced me to start to create a blog..i guess a lot ppl dun like dogz..on the other hand,i believe tat,ther's stil alot of dog lovers in this world..i cant realy consider myself as a 100% dog lover,cz i beat them up too when they r notti..quite serious too..hehe..but i do ll try my best to do anythg for them...hop tat Melody ll understand my situation..

Dec 2004,3 months old melody~

I think all my friendz n classmatez known tat i own a maltese named Melody...hehe..she is my 1st doggie which i used my own saving money to buy...actualy i love maltese since i was stil young..Unfortunately,the price is too expensive n my dad said tat this kinda dog too tiny..so...wat 2 do..no money wat...
Until i entered into Inti College.stil remember tat i was in Singapore with my bro..at the same time,it was my study break for my final hsc exam..i followed my bro to a lot of petshops in Singapore..they realy love their pets a lotzzz...one day,i saw a pair of couple,they healing their little maltese pup..it was so so so cute n lovely...i was so envy...Then the nxday,i str8 away bought a book bout maltese in a book shop n make a wish tat i mz buy a maltese after my exam...

Back to Penang, i called a lot petshops to look for maltese..it is extremely hard to find a maltese pup in Penang..but finally,i found it..i went to the petshop wif my bro..i saw two little maltese over ther..they were so cute,exactly look like cotton..Is time to make a decison-"which one i should bring back to my house?"..both of them jz look like twinz..which to choose?at last,i picked the one which face is shorter..wahhh...this is my 1st maltese ler...i was so so so excited..conversely,my wallet was so sad cz all my saving gone~hehe...

She was so tiny during tat time..jz only 2 n half months..not more than 1kg..but she is damn cute during tat time(even now)...hehe..Unfortunately,wats her name?snowie?whity?or???it was so hard to giv her a single name....it took me a week to consider..hence,she was nameless for the 1st week in my messy house..my crazy mum,even asked me to name her as 'snow white'..so lame..feel so gerli when i called her as snow white..LOL..after tat,i was considering,whether named her as melody o melanie..both names r nice too..finally,i named her as melody since it is easier to pronounce n its sounds 'sweet'...:P

5 months old:)

Therefore,melody bcom the 1st maltese in Benben's life.Sum may feel i m crazy when they c i waste so much money on her..but for those who actualy a maltese lovers,they feel tat i did not good enuf for her..anyway, the crucial thg is tat, i mz sayang n love her more day by day~ I believe tat dogs r always man's best frends~

Xiao BinBin is here...

2006-12-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

Haha..actualy,i plan to create a blog long time ago d..jz tat i'm lazy to type long...but then..i realy wish to express all my feeling here..Sumtim i feel tat every human is blind..cz v cant c wats our future...i duno whether im worry onot..but i do wish tat everyone can live happily in future..However,its jz a dream la..it's damn hard to bcom a human being..it is extremely hard!..Anyway,ther're hopes on tomorrow!!!!!Gambatek everyone!

Damn it!

2006-12-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

duno wtf is happen..i cant sign in my previous blog..
wat 2 do..so create a new blog here..hehe...
nvm..is ok..i ll move all my previous blogs here...
haiz..i hate monday alot...cz got early class every mon..8.30am..
since i from penang mainland..to prevent traffic jam,bridge jam..so need to wake up at 6am n hav to go to college at 6.45am..if u only start the car at 7am.haha..then u ll cry b4 u reach the tol..ishhh...hav to used to it lo..if not how..rent a house in penang island...
nah..irene ll scold me..lol..cz v share car mah..haha..jkla..i know she wun..cz without me..she ll b in peace..cz the car ll b silent..lol..
hop tat everyday can bcom like sunday..sleep until wateva time v wan.haha..'DUN DREAM" la..its wun happen!!unless i m super super super rich..hehe...
MONDAY,c ya!

Ben's Stories

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

2010

im back

nite out with an 'old mate'

missing my puipui

confession

IM BACK

LLB- 2nd year

genting/kl trip, day 3- 10/8/07

genting/kl trip, day 2/ part 2- 9/8/07

genting/kl trip, day 2- 9/8/07

genting/kl trip, day 1- 8/8/07

LLB/ NU in IPG~

blogspot, hate @ love u?

朋 友 vs 敌 人

她 的 背 后

when people says:

裂 痕 ~

u ll get 4 wat u hav paid

关 系 ?

My new little gal~Marice

Disapointed~

reunion~Mar 2007

Melody~after mating...

Pity notebook~

Dino~Melody's future husband...

Melody~

My little daughter~Melody

Xiao BinBin is here...

Damn it!

朋友 vs 敌人

她的背后

裂痕 ~

关系 ?